UV:/

Act I

@ULTRAVULNERABLE

dear gazer:
everything just fell in on itself

SCENE 1

CARDS

December 21, 2020, 6:42pm EST

Nine of Swords

Hazard
Avoid looking directly at the light
Caution
Radiation inside
Do not expose to unprotected eye or skin
Danger
Hazard
Do NOT operate without coverings

December 30, 2020, 10:30pm EST

Six of Swords

where does vulnerability go?
wisdom lit within
approaching yourself without intimacy, imagined

January 6, 2021, 4:48am EST

The Chariot

are you frozen?
the lag and the rush
where does the time go?
what's lost?
splice frame
face screen
don't look directly at me
(it's really invasive)
everything just fell in on itself
slip twist
like my hair between your fingers
unseen
nothing unseen
deshadowed
refashioned
flattened
if I was in your space
in my space
where does my shadow go?

Scene 2

Words

January 12, 2021, 12:02am EST

Dark Edges Touching

light whites

out space
above around

reoriented
flesh puzzle

slid into

new places
an essential
unending penetration

precise violence

as darkness

an undercurrent

thrums out of reach

January 20, 2021, 4:03pm

Gyges of Lydia

I feel like I need you
to exist
untethered without you
floating beneath a
veil of self-curation
approaching myself

January 28, 2021, 2:18pm EST

Drawing My Own Outline

before vigil-flame's anaesthetic
thrown up against bare stone
I paint what you see
what I think you see
reframed rebounded
don't look directly at me
but copies of my body
outlined and unfolded
bleed slowly
over centuries
and fade forever
like dusk

Scene 3

Lines

February 4, 2021, 12:38pm

Where Does Your Mind Go

his eyes
one blacker than the next
idealize me superhumanized
some Rubik’s cube
solved for
exposed
all goddess and nipple
two line torso
scratched and crushed
on palm on canvas
his busy fingers
his focused gaze

February 11, 2021, 2:08pm EST

Les Femmes D’Alger (O)

flattened at your front door

we wait for your footfall
wanting to feel your sole
pressed into our bellies

worthless wormholes framed once
and reframed forever

February 19, 2021, 1:49pm EST

Sitting

my outline spirals outward
as my innards innocence
descends distorts discarded

Scene 4

Cuts

February 27, 2021, 3:19am EST

Slip and Swipe

switch flipped and double clicked
we're once or twice removed
some synthetic flame struck
flashing reflected shadows
into your hands
misrememories spliced
into haunted spaces

March 5, 2021, 8:32pm EST

All The Missing

Empty rooms
and empty beds
light in place of life
that belongs there
was there
would be
save our severed selves
all minds
and heavy souls
no bodies to hold
only to bury
and burn

March 13, 2021, 5:23am EDT

Ace of Scalpels

Light penetrates and edge opens
a white sheet between me
and my body
a vague awareness
of your focused fingers
eager eyes bemused
calling others to audience
my inside your work
skin unfolded
nothing unseen
ultravulnerable
you cut me up
to give me life
to give me love itself
the sun itself
warmth itself
to give me light

Pre-launch

March 21, 2021, 10:41am EDT

THE FOUNTAIN

NOT TOO CLOSE NOW JUST A LITTLE SPACE HERE A LITTLE ROOM TO BREATHE PLEASE IS ALL I ASK ALL I NEED

TIL THE FEVER GOES DOWN NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF MAKE ME A LITTLE LESS VOLATILE DON'T WANT TO EXPOSE YOU TO THAT SO A LITTLE SPACE PLEASE JUST A LITTLE ROOM WHERE ELSE CAN I GO TO BE WHERE DO I GO NO REALLY WHERE DO I GO YOU DON'T KNOW YOU DON'T NO YOU DON'T NO ONE KNOWS NO INNER KNOWLEDGE OR UNDERINTELLIGENCE NOTHING COMES CLOSE TO REVEALING WHERE EXACTLY I'VE GONE THE FARTHER I REACH INTO MYSELF THE LESS I'VE TRAVELED WHAT'S REAL NO REALLY NO TIME NOTHING BUT TIME

CUT CUTS NOTHING BUT GAPS ENDLESS FLOW CUP CUPS STOCK TICKS AND FILTER DRIPS DON'T TALK TO ME BEFORE I'VE HAD MY COFFEE LET ME JUST PUT A COMB THROUGH MY HAIR THEY CAN'T SMELL ME RIGHT NO REALLY HOW DO I BLUR OUT MY ROOM AGAIN WHERE'S THE SETTING THAT FOLDS MY LAUNDRY WHY CAN'T LITERALLY ANYTHING WORK LITERALLY IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE SLIPPED A DISC SOMETHING MISALIGNED CHAKRA BLOCKED AND SUDDENLY FLOODED FILLED WITH LIGHT AND CHANGED FOREVER

SKETCHED OR SNAPPED OR GRABBED TOKEN AND TWOTE IN THEIR HANDS AND HERE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TRAIL I'M LEAVING NO REALLY THERE'S JUST SO MUCH CACOPHONY INSIDE OUT CUTTING MY BODY INTO TINY PIECES

FRAGMENTS OF LOWER BACK SLIDING OVER A FLEXED CALF REARRANGEMENT AD INFINITUM DONE JUST SO HELD BETWEEN POINTER AND THUMB THE OTHERS SPREAD WIDE UNWAVERING I'M FADING COUNTING DOWN SLIPPING INSIDE MYSELF OUT OF REACH OUR AFFINITY HOLDS ME HERE KEEPS ME REAL NO REALLY I'M JUST ANOTHER SELF-INDULGENT FEED ELSE SHOWING YOU MY PRETTIEST PARTS ONLY THEM NOT ME

FINGERS SLIDING OVER MY OWN FACE STRETCHING OBSESSING WITH ILLUMINATED REFLECTIONS APART FROM MYSELF AND UNFEELING ART ITSELF THE BIRTH OF ART THE DESPERATE HOPE THAT YOU SEE WHAT I SEE THE SAME WORLD INSIDE OUT JUST CUT UP DIFFERENTLY

EMBARRASSING REALLY WHAT I'VE LEFT BEHIND HURT AND HURTING SLOWLY SCARRING AND FOREVER THROBBING AT THE THOUGHT BETWEEN PAIN AND HEALING WAKING AND SLEEP SEEING AND SEEN SITTING FOR HIS SQUINT FOREVER NARROWING STRETCHING MY MEMORY INTO IMMORTALITY BUT FLIPPED AND TWISTED HE THINKS ME SOLVED REBALANCED LAID BARE DRAPED AND GLOWING I'M EVERYTHING IN THIS ROOM HIS REDUCED TO SIMPLEST FORM TIL IT ISN'T EVEN ME ANYMORE SPLAYED LIKE THE LINES ON MY PALMS AS I LACE MY FINGERS BEHIND MY HEAD CREASED AS HIS PLAYING HIS MELODY BLOWING HIS ELECTRICITY INSIDE ME HIS EYES FOREVER DARKENING I DON'T STOP AT MYSELF ANYMORE I'M INSIDE HIM AND HIS HANDS AND HIS WORK AND YOU AND FOREVER EXPANDING AT ONCE THE SAME DIFFERENTLY ANOTHER REVOLUTION A NEW TWEAK A FEW DEGREES FOREVER DARKENING FOR KNOWING MORE THE CLIFF STEEPENING WIND AND WATER SLIDING ACROSS THE ROCK FACE PULLING IT APART STONES AND SAND SLIPPING INTO EVERYWHERE ELSE GONE NEVER REALLY TOUCHING

LAYERS BETWEEN US DONE TO AND USED AND MADE TO FEEL CLOSER THAN WE ARE BY FALSE FIRES GHOST STORIES AND SMOKE SIGNALS S'MORES SWEET AND STICKY STUCK IN THE FLAMES AND GOOEY DEVOURED BY THESE PLATFORMS DIGESTED AND REPURPOSED SO YOU CAN HOLD ME WELL NOT ME NOT REALLY MY MEMORIES WELL NOT REALLY BUT THE ONES I WANT YOU TO HAVE OF ME RIPE FOR THE PLUCKING JUICY AND DRIPPING PUDDLES IN THE ATTIC OR SPARE BEDROOM CROWDED WITH THE SPIRITS OF THOSE WE BARELY KNEW OR NEVER MET OR MAY NEVER PLACES THEY SLEPT OR COULD BE IF WE HADN'T THOUGHT OF OURSELVES MOSTLY IF NOT ONLY THIS CURSED SELF-INTEREST THAT HANGS ABOVE US LIKE A CROWN AROUND US LIKE A NOOSE TIL WE STOP EXISTING TO ANYONE ELSE JUST A NAME AND A SCREEN SOMEWHERE THAT ISN'T HERE FOREVER FORGETTING THE FINGERS THAT SLIDE THE EYES THAT TEAR SHACKLED TO THIS EXISTENCE OUT OF FEAR THERE AREN'T OTHERS GRAVE AND WEIGHTY ALONE TOUCHING OURSELVES OR WHAT WE THINK

WE ARE MOURNING FROM AFAR FOREVER FARTHER NO REALLY SO MANY GOODBYES WHISPERED INTO MISSING EARS AND TINY LONELY FLAMES THE COLD GLOW THROBS IN MY SKULL THE EMPTY MEMORY OF NON-FEELING THE AWARENESS OF NON-AWARENESS THERE AND HERE AND NOT THERE A DULL RINGING FOREVER RISING I KNOW YOU'RE THERE WITH ME HELPING ME I HEAR SHARING ME PART OF ME I DON'T KNOW CAN'T NO REALLY INSIDE OUT LITERALLY ENVELOPE OPENED AND LETTER READ AND REREAD AND SCANNED AND PORED OVER FINGER SLIDING ACROSS EACH LINE DIARY LOCK PICKED AND SECRETS SPILLED TOO MANY TO HOLD OVERFLOWN KNOWN BECAUSE TO NOT BE IS TO NOT BE YOU SEE ME INTO BEING GIVE ME REASON TO BE EVEN IF IT'S ONLY PIECES OF ME THAT YOU PICK UP AND FLICK THROUGH FOR A MOMENT WE SET EACH OTHER SPINNING AND MEETING AND SPINNING AGAIN CIRCLING AROUND THE SAME CENTER FOREVER FARTHER THE MOON AND A FINGERNAIL AWAY REFLECTING THE SAME SHINE